8 lessons I learned in 2018

Disclaimer: the new year of 2019 came, and everyone wants to share what happened to them in 2018. This is awesome, but lots of this is super private (to me, for example), that is why I don`t want to share here what happened to me in 2018, but probably what I learned in 2018 and what can help you not to make my mistakes or to excel more in 2019. Everything below is my humble opinion which might now align with your life challenges, beliefs, and other stuff. It is ok) So, here we go.

1. Set goals, but don`t punish yourself if you did not reach them

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  • state goals in the categories ( don`t think that your life is only about work or family or travel): I usually use the categories aka: work, own projects, personal development, shape and beauty, health, family and friends. This year I will also add "emotions" because this is the hardest part for me now.
  • when you set goals try to make them as vivid as possible: if you want to travel to Sri Lanka for the surfing school — then set the period of the year, set the company etc.
  • describe all the possible risks why this goal might now be achieved and think how you will act towards these risks. Usually, this helps you to be prepared when the risk occurs.
  • don`t punish yourself if you will not reach the goals because if you are that demanding person as I am you have all the reasons to be teared up in the depression of the high expectations from yourself. You need to learn and act in the new year, not to cry from the sadness. Also, if you are super high demanding one — read "Mindset" book by Carol Dweck (or watch her TEDx talk) and check up if you are in a growth or stable mindset. This helps a lot at least to think that you are ok or to identify the problem and turn yourself into the growth mindset.
  • for everything else — read SMART goal-setting technique.
  • medium goals (7–10) — in different spheres of life
  • easy-to-achieve goals (the rest of your "bucket" by your feelings.

2. Don`t listen to anyone except people who are where you want to be or who inspire you

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3. Take on more, but be careful not to burn out

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4. Don`t be a perfectionist. Better done than perfect

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5. Keep in shape. It is more serious than you think

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  • work with my teeth (I have brackets now so regular teeth checks are provided)))
  • regular exercises (for me a 1.5h workout once in 2–3 days is working good, also, will start swimming again from May) Btw, if you are traveling that much, then select some training perfectly tailored for you. Some online-sports training work for me best — I am taking elastic band and weighting for the legs, and I can do the exercises almost everywhere where I have 2*2 sq. m. space. You can do so too. It is easier than it seems
  • cosmetologist — a dedicated person who helps you to know better about your beauty
  • massages — not that often but I try to make it regular. The results are fantastic — better shape, better health, etc.
  • no junk food (I did not see McDonald`s for the last 6 months. Yes, I can!) — more healthy food. It is hard to change your eating habits, however, try to start buying more salad, more fish, less red meat, and you will see how your stomach will be happy. Also, I started cooking at home (this is super unusual for me) — because I wanted to eat good food, not processed one.

6. Get out of the comfort zone

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7. Make your relationship grow. Otherwise, they can die or decline sharply

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  • I am not the person I was in 2017. I learned a lot with the help of the mistakes I did. And every relationship teaches us and when makes it hurt, makes it understand ourselves better.
  • We need to say “sorry” more often. And really mean it. I am sorry.
  • When you love someone, you should tell and show them so (btw, in their own way because what "love" means to you might not mean "love" to your partner; read "5 languages of love" at least to understand how it works). Sometimes we are too obsessed with our feelings, but we should look at our partner and understand their feelings first. And don`t do quick conclusions.
  • Don`t lose the best people in your life. Closest, dearest people are like platinum — they are hard to be found. Keep them. Otherwise, you can understand how much you love them but it can be too late.
  • People change. In terms of stress and life-changing events, they do change habits, beliefs, and traits of their personality. Psychology also says about this.

8. Take a psychologist if you need

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by Anton Darius | Unsplash

Passionate about IT and startups. Books lover. Made in Ukraine.